10 Questions to Ask yourself Before Seeking out a Mentor


Mentoring and coaching seem to be all the craze at the moment (Even though this type of master / student relationship has been around for millennia).

But what is it about mentoring that has people raving about it? And why should you consider having a mentor?

These are good questions, particularly for those who feel that they have too many things to do and not enough guidance to help them steer their boat. Emotional waves come crashing down at every turn, and everyone wants a piece of you.

Committing to working with a mentor is about allowing yourself to root back into your own beliefs, and into your Self. It’s about having a clear understanding of what you want, and then going out and doing it. It’s about having a sounding board to share your ideas with, and a friend / coach to cheer you along as you meander your way through the tasks and challenges you face when doing hard things. 

It’s a touchpoint. An accountability buddy. A warm hug. A helping hand and a cheerleader. And more than that, it’s wisdom for the things that you’re not able to see because you're in the thick of it. 

It's a new concept. An outrageous request. A creative activity. To help you get out of your own way. You’ll be taken out of your comfort zone, and asked to stretch yourself to new places. Highs. Lows. Darkness, and then light. 

And all the while, you’ll have someone holding a torch for you so that you can see your way through the tunnel as you make it to the other side. 

There are different ways of mentoring, and so if you’re looking into it, my suggestion would be find someone who you jive with. Someone who aligns with your values, and who you can see yourself being completely vulnerable with. Which brings me to my next requirement. TRUST. A non-negotiable in this relationship.

To ask someone to mentor you is a BIG DEAL. It’s a commitment on your part to show up, and a deep reverence for their guidance. It’s a commitment to follow through on their encouraging leadership, and an all-abiding sense of confidence in their methods. 

Spend some time getting to know them. Check out their socials and website. Read their testimonials, and feel free to reach out to them to chat. That way, you can feel whether the experience is going to be one that fits with how you want to work. 

Mentors and Coaches provide you with real-life experience, wrapping their own learnings into your sessions, you’ll feel supported and cared for as you walk through uncharted territories. 

Not all mentors and coaches are made equal. There are many types of mentors and their methods may vary depending on what they’ve studied, and what they believe in themselves. 

For example, I wrap emotional intelligence,  ancient wisdom teachings, & energy alchemy to create an experience for my clients that allows them to step into  their whole selves. I don’t have a ten step program because I allow them to dictate the speed and direction in which we move. My methods are dependent on the individual, and I prod and poke with gentle enquiry and curiosity, to help my clients unravel in their own way. 

I teach them tools and practises that don’t require anything else but the willingness to dive into them. They don’t have to buy any other gadgets and books, or subscribe to anything other than our time together. I require that my clients show-up truthfully and honestly so that we can use our sessions together to work on whatever it is that’s holding them back from creating a life that they are in love with. 

So if you’re not ready to do the work, and you’re not willing to commit to yourself whilst we work together, then we’re probably not the right fit. 

There are other coaches and mentors out there, who don’t require this type of commitment. There’s no right or wrong here, it’s simply a preference as to what fits best for you.

It’s important to know what you want to get out of your time together, so becoming clear on the following 10 answers is a good starting point.  Take out your journal and answer these questions. You could rapid fire them, or take your time and think about your answers. Do whatever method feels right for you. Notice how you feel when you’re answering the questions?

What emotions come up for you?

Scarcity? Lack? Fear? Or Excitement? Joy? Pride?:

  1. Why do I want a mentor / coach?

  2. What do I want to get out of mentoring / coaching ?

  3. Am I ready to step outside of my comfort zone?

  4. What isn’t working for me right now?

  5. What do I want to change?

  6. Who of my list of potential mentors, do I feel the strongest pull to work with?

  7. What is it about the people on my list that draws me to them?  What attributes and qualities do they possess that are endearing to me?

  8. How much time and effort am I willing to give to this relationship?

  9. What would happen if I didn’t make this commitment now?

  10. What am I waiting for?

To learn more about my mentoring packages, right this way.

PS. My 1:1 coaching packages are expert high-touch point and in-depth support, with an investment level that reflects this. I work with only a handful of clients in this capacity at any one time.

If you are looking for lower touchpoint, and lower investment support, contact me at arianna@ariannapienaar for details of our self-study packages, masterclasses and voice note and text-only coaching and mentorship.

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