This week starts the 10th week of me going alcohol-free.

I didn’t plan to quit drinking alcohol. It started one Sunday morning when I grew tired of sleepless nights and scattered thoughts. Initially, I intended to take just a week off, which extended to two, then four weeks, and now here I am, approaching ten weeks alcohol-free.

I feel fantastic. Physically yes, but more so mentallly and emotionally. I am clearer of thought, can remember my dreams (which are such a gift), and I can also deal with emotional situations as they arise, with a sense of calmness & clarity.

But what’s astounded me the most is the amount of freedom I feel. Freedom from having to make a decision of whether or not I’m going to have a glass of wine with my dinner. The unconscious and countless small niggles which used to pop up in my mind almost daily as to whether or not, ‘tonight was a good night to indulge in a glass of wine’.

Having made this decision, I’m freer to consider other more important things. more important things. And I can’t help but consider how when a choice is made, how the simple act of deciding, frees up your mind to focus on other things. JumpCut to other examples of life’s various activities, can we free ourselves from the mindless chitter chatter by simply making a choice in advance and then seeing it out?

What else do we mindlessly and unconsciously think about during the day?

And what sort of freedom would we experience if we make a choice  or an unfaltering commitment to a particular ideology?

Freedom of mind is a gift, and by being able to hear and follow the nudges and whims that are intuitively placed in your hands by your Soul, you will be led towards your freedom. That’s to say that the moment you surrender to your soul’s wisdom, is when you’ll find your own sense of liberation.

But how do you hear your soul speak? How do you know if the nudges you’re hearing are in fact, the wisdom of your soul?  Well, I often find that the wisdom is usually delivered to you in what you think are random thoughts & feelings, and then your mind will try and change it to suit it’s egoic needs.

Let’s say for example, that your soul asks you to start moving your body daily. It’s trying to liberate you from the stagnancy which you’ve been living in lately. You know deep down that you desperately need for something to change in your life. And you’ve been asking for guidance as to what needs to change, and then this. Your soul whispers in your ear, and says ‘hey, why don’t you wake up tomorrow morning, and move that body of yours babe?’.

It sounds good in theory, but you know it’s going to be cold. And you know that you’re not a morning person, so you instantly dismiss the idea. Your mind / ego has gotten in the way of what your soul is requesting of you.

And here’s the prison of your mind at work – you dwell on whether you should, (or if the time has passed and you didn’t), how you should have, woken up early and moved your body. “I should have’. ‘Why didn’t i’? ‘I’ll start tomorrow’.

And then tomorrow comes; and the saga continues.

My point isn’t so much about getting up and moving your body (although that’s important in any story, but we’ll save that for another time);  It’s more about the brain space you’ve wasted in planning for the event, dismissing and or ignoring the event, and then begrudgingly cursing yourself for not doing said event; and then somewhat planning to do that all over again.

B R A I N S P A C E.

How much freedom could you gain from making a decision and then seeing it through? Either that, or if you dismiss the thing, or choose differently in the moment, let it go right there and then, and don’t think about it again. Don’t plan. Don’t justify. Don’t try and do anything about it. Decision made, done and dusted.

Capice?

There are moments of expansion that are uncomfortable, and in those moments, you have the power to choose. Sometimes, you’ll make decisions that are in alignment with your Truth, and then there are moments when you’re not so woke, and it’s in those moments, that you can call on self-compassion, and the art of moving on.

This is why I find so much freedom in restraint. So much space in decisions. So much spontaneity in discipline.

There are things that I do nowadays which are routine for me. Things that I don’t have to think about at the time, this gives me the freedom to just get up and go.

Examples include: setting my wake-up and bedtime routines, laying out my clothes the night before to eliminate morning decisions, planning my yoga practice ahead of time before rolling out my mat, and confirming calendar appointments at least 24 hours in advance of any event. These simple decisions allow me the freedom to navigate my day smoothly and adjust as needed without unnecessary stress or last-minute decisions.

These seemingly small decisions, having been made before the time, allow me the freedom to flow throughout my day and my life. It allows me the freedom to pivot and change on the spot if I need to, and if I’m feeling out of sorts, or I’ve had a bad night’s rest, there aren’t any blocks to me crawling onto my mat in the morning. It’s all laid out and decided upon before-hand.

FREEDOM.

Boundaries and parameters around what time I look at my phone?  What time do I clock off from work? How often do I check my emails / social media? All of these elements and aspects, can fog the mind and cloud our decision-making skills (if we allow them to). Why not make and set some boundaries? Decisions ahead of time.

To embody the sacred takes courage of the heart. Listen in to what your heart and soul are calling you to do. Who they’re asking you to become, and play an active part in your becoming. Stay true to your commitments, and devote yourself to freeing up some space in your mind. Allow your greatness to flow through you without the ‘shoulds & musts’. Settle into the freedom from obligation. Allow yourself to BE, and give yourself the space to create.

It’s often the simplest things that make the most profound difference to our lives. You don’t have to perform grandiose tricks to bring the light in. Small acts of devotion will do. Start small, and add as you go along. This tones your nervous system little bit by little bit. And in this way, there’s no need to shock the system by making big-huge decisions that will only create distortion in your life. Make the decisions as you’re ready to. Organically feeling into their essence, and then committing to going along for the ride.

Being open to the full experience of whatever that decision brings. Fear. Resentment. Anger. Resistance.

Feel it all, and then notice how you react to it.

Is your pattern to pull back and negotiate or justify the reasons why you’re choosing different? Do you talk yourself out of said decision? Or do you plough forth, come hell or high water? Inquire into the reasons why you react and respond the way you do. If it’s a lifelong pattern of you reacting this way, you have the opportunity to ask yourself whether this way of being is serving you? And then if not, to change it and to choose differently.

Sometimes, we learn the most when we’re living it, more than what we can read in a book. Make your life an experiment. And give yourself the space to truly know yourself. Not just your habits, likes and dislikes, but the way you optimally function. What decisions can you make today that will serve your tomorrow? And how do you handle your mind once that decision is made? How can you find freedom in restraint?

What does devotion look and feel like to you? And have you experimented with it in a visceral way?

Take your journal out right now, and write down at least five menial tasks which you’re constantly throwing around inside your head, and choose ONE or TWO to commit to. Commit to practicing this new way for one week only, and notice the difference in your life.. And then if you feel the freedom of having made these decisions, then you can start adding more to your list. Notice the cascade of events as they occur from freeing up your mind.

This requires a willingness to try new things. An openness to self-compassion (if or when you trip-up), a curiosity to approaching a new way of being, and a deeper understanding of Self.

I don’t for one minute believe that we were put on this earth to only do hard things.

I know that for us to tick things off our Soul-List, to adhere to the agreement our Soul entered before coming down to this earth, but somewhere along the journey, we’re meant to experience joy and pleasure.

There’s this notion that has us thinking that all good things come to those who do hard things, and whilst that may be true, my question is ‘What’s considered to be hard?’ What’s the benefit of challenging ourselves? and why does it matter so much for us to overcome these seemingly insurmountable obstacles to get to the other side? And to the other side of what exactly?

Let’s first start by:

Agreeing that hard and challenging, don’t have to be outwardly exhausting and or physically impossible. Hard and challenging can be internal woes and addictions, and breaking habits and patterns that no longer serve.

We can wake up from our insecurities, and decide that it’s time for us to step into our greatness, only to realise that the HARD, and the challenge, show up in asking us to be kind and compassionate to ourselves. That’s a whole new kind of challenge that is not so much about achievement and success, but more so focussed on a way of being. With ourselves at first, and then with others.

If you chose to challenge yourself in unorthodox ways, what would your life be like? What would it be like if you committed to breaking habitual patterns that rendered you lifeless? Which you know have sabotaged your success along the way? What would your life experience be like then?  What sort of achievement would you harness? And would it be enough?

So many questions.

Here are some answers.

Think of states of expansion, freedom, and joy.  Think of being excited to get out of bed in the mornings because you’re doing what comes naturally for you, and I dare say, that which you’re good at. Imagine, just for a moment, what it would feel like, to love your life.

If we courageously began to see the internal ‘hard’, we would soon see that our iteration of what’s challenging would change.

We would:

Challenge, doesn’t need to come in the form of hustle and grind. It doesn’t need to be about pushing and striving and achieving and enduring (although it can, and if that’s your kind of sexy, then cool, you do you).

Challenges can also be found in the nuances of thinking and behaving in alignment with your values and beliefs, regardless of how others approve or disapprove. It can be found in speaking up, saying no, or taking time for your one’s self-care. It can be in the choice not to feel guilty, or the determination to speak your truth. The challenge can be whatever brings you to your highest expression.

Discipline. Devotion.  Commitment.

All these can be challenging and hard, and yet to the outside world, a devotion to be kind and compassionate may seem somewhat frivolous and unimportant. Yet, can’t we see that it’s the MOST important?

The paradoxical nature of the universe is that what seems small is big.

What seems convoluted is simple.

Everything, in its divine order, is the complete opposite of what we consider it to be.

The way to our bliss is to simply follow it – without the hustle and grind.

It can be THAT simple.

Let go of delusional extremes seeking attention.

Strip away those thoughts and words from your mind and embrace what brings you joy. You’re drawn to specific activities for a reason—your unique tendencies are meant to be expressed. Your sense of humour, chosen for a purpose you may not fully grasp, is crucial for your soul’s evolution and that of the planet.

The challenges we face are not accidents but gateways to a higher state of being. Each one is meticulously scripted to propel us into the next phase of our evolution, unfolding the story of our true selves.

Leaving that job, or staying at that job.

Saying no, or saying yes.

1. Venture where your shadow dwells—the path of challenge and fear is where growth unfolds.

2. Each of us hears the soul uniquely—through gut instincts, heart flutters, sudden thoughts, or timely songs. Stay open, tuned to these signals, and follow them.

3. Every challenge holds a lesson and a precious jewel. Once discovered and embraced, this wisdom propels you forward. Until you honor these lessons, cycles may persist, guiding you toward your intended path.

Life’s paradox is such that challenges, once conquered, transform into natural ease. Reflect on any tough decision you’ve faced; in hindsight, you likely felt supported and whole through the transition. Yes, there were dark days, perhaps spanning months or even years. Yet emerging from that darkness reveals new horizons. Your nervous system attuned to fresh experiences, and you’ve proven your resilience to yourself.

Embrace the unknown with grace and humility, trusting that support will find its way to you. Surrender to the fact that you may not have all the answers about what lies ahead, and that’s perfectly fine. You don’t need to have everything figured out. Simply follow your bliss. Engage in activities that bring you joy, intuitively choose what aligns with your highest good, and move confidently in that direction. It’s your time to embrace playfulness. Play boldly, with a sense of fun and ease. Embrace your shadows, for beyond them, illuminated, awaits your true self, ready to be revealed.

Ask yourself, ‘How can it get any better than this?’ and watch how it all unravels.

If you don’t start exercising your right to choose your life, my friends, you’re going to land up a very unhappy little BumbleBee.

You’re probably already tired and exhausted.

Your Pity-Party is so boring, even your most loyal fans, are avoiding your calls.  You find yourself drinking one too many (or two to many) chardonnay’s over what’s supposed to be a quiet night in.

Enough Already!

How about you choose, right now, to bust out of victim-mentality, out of self-pity, and bust into a world where you are the queen of your queendom?

Where you take control of your thoughts, and your emotions, and you start to live life according to your own inner-compass.

Dream with me for a moment, that in an instant, you could change your future…

To begin with, this is scary. I know. I’ve been there.

Questions which are confronting and suffocating start to sound rather loudly in your head.

“What do you want?

What do you even like?

What IS a hobby?

and how do you even figure out what your heart desires?”

So many questions.

Do you have the energy to tackle them all?

Are you going to spend the rest of your days telling everyone how ‘busy you are?’ how you’re overworked and underpaid?

Do you think that for one moment, if you were brutally honest with yourself, that being too busy, being exhausted, and overworking are all statements of over-importance.

Trying to make yourself seemingly over-important?

As if the fact that you’re in demand makes you MORE important than those people you’re speaking to? That you wear your fatigue and exhaustion as badges of honor?

I bet you a million bucks that your busyness includes a long Facebook / Insta-scroll.

That you spend ever-important time procrastinating and avoiding the important things in your life that you know would make you feel happier and more at-ease in your skin.

You spend your free space burning up time so that you don’t have space to do what is important and what needs to be done.

What exactly are you spending your time doing ?

Are you genuinely accomplishing something?

Stop saying ‘I’m so busy’ – the energy of that emotion is bla.

Stop saying ‘I’m so tired’ – because when you’re truly ‘tired’ from kicking ass in your day, that kinda energy is HIGH and woohoo.

It’s a good tired and you don’t complain about it.

You love that energy right? Do more of it.

Schedule time in your life to do things that make you feel HAPPY AND JOYOUS.

Stop living hangover to hangover. Choose your habits wisely. Choose what you do with your time wisely.

So often I speak to clients that feel victimised by their circumstances.

As if they don’t have a choice in their moods or the way they’re feeling. As if their circumstances is being done to them.

Feeling sad and defeated is a choice. You get to choose the thoughts you think and the emotions you feel.

Next time you’re stuck in self-wallowing pity, ask yourself these 7 questions:

  1. is this how WANT TO FEEL?

  2. how do i WANT TO FEEL?

  3. What thoughts would generate those feelings?

  4. What actions could I take to contribute to those feelings?

  5. How can I change my thoughts?

  6. and therefore my emotions?

  7. and therefore my life?

If you find yourself mulling over these questions and thoughts, wondering how you’re going to pull yourself out of your ways, then this DAILY RITUAL list is going to really help and support you through the first part of co-creating the change, you so want in your life. 

It all starts with your emotions, and choosing them first. 

Because you’re a complex being (we all are, it’s not just you my love), you’ll desire different states of emotion dependant on what you’re doing. You may wish to feel powerful at work, and gentle at home. You may choose to feel open and creative on the weekend, and relaxed and calm of an evening. 

It’s important that you spend some time with these questions, because, depending on what you choose, you’ll find transformation and change within the answers themselves. 

If your feelings are magnetic, then choosing them must be the way that you co-create with the Universe, drawing unto you, everything that you deeply desire. 

What will you decide?

Tumbleweeds floating past your eyes.

You see them.

You notice them and your eyes sparkle with delight.

Your heart races with excitement.

These ideas have chosen you.

‘But no! How can I?’

‘But no! Who am I to teach these holistic and endearing messages of hope? who am i to birth her to the world?

But no! next time, when I’m ready’.

… and sadly, these deliciously sophisticated ideas make their way to someone else.

Someone who is courageous and strong enough to hold them.

Someone who is bold enough to carry them through. Someone who is dedicated enough to create magic.

And a year goes by, and you’re still doing the same old.

Visiting the same old.

Saying the same old.

Until you notice one of these deliciously sophisticated ideas that you thought would wait for you, has made her way to someone else.

Someone else who is radiantly delivering her to the world.

Someone who has humbly accepted her as a gift.

And they are both happy.

And it could have been you.

And you look at what you’re seeing, and you’re filled with regret at not having taken a chance on yourself. Not having trusted yourself with her presence and guidance.

At not having chosen her.

And you wake up.

And you realise that the TIME IS NOW.

That this deliciously sophisticated droplet of grace is still within your reach.

What will you decide?