My 11 Top Tips to Overcome your Fear

Uncategorized Jul 19, 2019

My 11 Top Tips to Overcome your Fear 

Fear is natural and necessary. But you can decide what FEAR means to you.

You can see it as an opportunity to Befriend your Fear, and Rise, or ignore your fears, dull them down by distracting yourself or numbing out the fear, which ultimately means you’re Running from the problem. 

 

Let’s address what fear actually is, so you can move through it and rewrite your story to live the life that you choose to live. 

 

Knowing that Fear can paralyse us, and having experienced the feeling of fear that has morphed into worry and anxiety, I know all too well that fear can stop us from achieving our dreams and goals. But merely knowing this, doesn’t make it any easier to overcome now does it?

Did you know that the fear, in itself, the emotion of FEAR, is trying to protect you?  It’s a defence mechanism implanted into your psyche to protect you from experiencing true danger. And it’s relative to us all individually. Which means that one man’s fear is another man’s fantasy. 

So how can we work with fear so that we can achieve the peace and happiness that we desire?  

Firstly, knowing that when you’re experiencing fear, especially when it’s relating non-life-threatening incident and or scenario, there’s an underlying question that you must be asking yourself in order to understand where your fear is coming from. 

 

Most of my clients who are creative and intrinsically motivated, that is to say that they feel purpose-driven, at some stage, feel fear when they’re sharing their message or A message with their tribe. 

 

This is because they’re thinking one of the following thoughts:

 

  • What are they going to think of me?
  • What if they don’t agree with me?
  • Will they ostracise me from the clan?
  • What if they don’t love me anymore?

 

Do you see how these questions which instigate the fear response to merely posting a social media message or hitting publish on that controversial article, all have something to do with not belonging. In this day and age, it may seem quite superficial to have a deep-seated fear with not being able to share our thoughts and ideas, but I want you to think about a time in your lineage where speaking your truth, where going against the norm and cultural traditions, was frowned upon. 

 

With Fear being a primal emotion, It’s not unusual to see how you’d be fearful of going against the grain for fear of being thrown out of the tribe, because they weren’t conforming. 

 

And so in order to eradicate or release the fears we’re experiencing, we must comprehend the real reasons we feel afraid and realise that our fears are pointing to the places within us that need attention.

 

Fear is kept in our Base Energy Centre, and as such, has a tribal relationship to our lives. When we feel safe and secure, we often have a firm foundation from which to spring-off from, and by that I mean that we’re physically safe, accepted and loved by our tribe. 

 

When our security (whether that be shelter, money, emotional stability) is threatened or worse, non-existent, we view the world from somewhat of a shaky place, and therefore, are fearful of what-ifs altogether.

 

Your body is one of the most effective resources for releasing fears and blockages. Just as your body is capable of releasing physical things that don't serve you through sweating, urination, etc., it also has the power to release emotional toxicity.

If a gazelle survives a scary experience with a predator, the gazelle will intensely shake its body to release any residual fear or anxious energy. After it releases that energy, it goes about its day as if nothing ever happened.

This natural process of energy release is something that humans have learned to suppress. We have learned to ignore fear and hope that the energy just disappears rather than taking the natural steps of physically releasing the energy as soon as it's safe to let go.

Let’s look at an example.

 

The Fear of intimacy, which is an often subconscious fear of closeness that frequently affects people's personal relationships. This fear of physical and/or emotional intimacy tends to show up in people's closest and most meaningful relationships.

There are a number of things that might cause someone to fear intimacy. It may have to do with past experiences, especially those of childhood.

It’s likely a defense mechanism. You don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable or trust in someone else because you don’t want to get hurt.

This also ties into the Fear of rejection and the fear of abandonment as well. 

 

Fear becomes a problem when we don’t have the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills to interrupt and shift our mood long enough to make good decisions about how to proceed. If the fear response happens often and intensely, our emotional temperature can stay elevated, which interferes with our ability to think and interact effectively. Fear’s effect on the brain can linger, continually interfering with our ability to make good decisions.

Managing Fear essentially starts with the first dimension in Emotional Intelligence (EQ) which is Self-Awareness. 

 

No one teaches that WE can control emotions such as fear and anxiety by using the power of our own mind to become aware of our thoughts and feelings and so unlock the ability to choose our emotions and direct the content of our lives.  

No one teaches us that lack of emotional management is what leads to drama, anxiety, suffering, addiction, stress and poor decisions…. And that if we learn to control our emotions we can avoid these things.  

 

Now, make no mistake, having fears and feeling blocked in life, can be classes as normal. You’re not alone for experiencing these emotions, and you will experience elements of the emotion throughout your life. It’s what you do with the fear, that matters.

Top 11 tips / Steps to Overcoming and unravelling FEAR from our lives. 

    1. Become aware of the fear. What happens to your physical body when you’re fearful? 
    2. Once you’re aware of the fear, label all the irrational thoughts that try to intensify the fear. Eg: no-one will ever love me again
    3. Take time out and distract yourself - Go for a walk, have a cup of tea.

 

  • Breathwork - 

 

  1. Identify the fear - The fear of (fill in the blank) 
  2. Where does it come from?- Earliest childhood memory
  3. Why is this outdated? - Journal or speak with (verbalize) a trusted friend; crying and or laughing is a thing and can be quite therapeutic when you’re letting go of these emotions that have secured their space in your body.
  4. What do I want rather ? Identify how you’d rather be. Exploration exercise where you go into a fantasy of how you’d rather choose to react or respond, 
  5. Co-create a new story - Journal this as an entry - write it down, or go into deep visualisation where you’re living this new version of self.
  6. Feel and visualise your new story - Generating an emotion which is filling your cells with new information.
  7. Get into action - Go on with your day. Don’t harp on it.
  8. Rinse and repeat steps 8, 9 and 10 daily. 

 

Theis method can be applied to everything that invokes fear in both your business and your life. 

You need to train yourself to create white space between the stimulus and the response / reaction / inaction. 

 

When your irrational thoughts take over your mind, and your body, you’re allowing fictional information and stories which are most probably outdated, to rule your life. 

the only thing that’s stopping you is the way you’re thinking. Albeit subconscious thought patterns. 

















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