Why is it that we think that when someone messages us via text or email, or even when your phoning is ringing, that we need to respond back / answer immediately?
Phone rings. Answer.
Text comes through. Better respond immediately. Right?!
What if there was another way? To respond to life? (using the phone as a metaphor)
Imagine a world where you do not have to respond to every single 'ping' that comes through to you. Imagine for one moment, that if someone texted you, and you’re in the middle of something (or even if you’re not) you do not respond to them immediately. (What the ?!)
What do you feel in your body when you think about this?
Do you feel a rush of fear & anxiety?
Do you worry what the person on the receiving end will think about you?
I’ve been practicing this is in my life over the last few months (maybe even closer to a year by now) and I am in so in-love with this process.
The ability to control what comes in, and the awareness to stop & consider my response.
A moment in time to mull over how I'd like to answer. (#Genius.)
You may find this particularly challenging when you feel the need to respond in haste. Because the situation is urgent and you HAVE TO answer NOW.
But these situations that require your urgent attention also require your discernment. They require for you to respond considerately and to really understand the tone of the message first before responding.
Once you curate and create some space between the message and response, in this space, you can take a moment to decide what you want to get out of your response.
What is your intention?
How do you want to feel when you’re responding.
You can also take this a step further and think about how you want the other person to feel when they receive your response.
All of these considerations to ponder and consciously choose, before you jump into saying the first thing that comes up for you.
Let's face it, if the message that comes through is somewhat triggering, you don't want your stress response to take over and answer FOR you. Generally, I find that not to be a good outcome for anyone. (believe me #AmygdalaHijack)
If you can place a little space between receiving something, and then giving an answer or response which isn't reactive, but rather responsive, then you can always make sure you speak from a place of truth, love, understanding and compassion. Even if your chosen response is to be angry, you can convey your anger in a more fruitful way, instead of just flying off the handle.
Everything in your life starts off from this concept.
You start to practice this new skill (and yes, it's a skill) by choosing whether to mindlessly pick up your phone after it beeps, and slowly but surely the practice of not being reactive fits it's way into your life.
So you practice this for long enough, and someday, you'll have someone standing right in front of you, saying something that is downright rude and insulting. and you create the space for thoughtful response.
Another example of this is considering how you show up for your Social Media Platforms.
Are you ready to receive all of the energy that’s coming from all the comments and LIKES (or lack thereof)?
Too often we grab our phones as this reactive way of not being able to sit still.
For not knowing what to do with our time. Right there, is an opportunity to create space before you pick up your phone and scroll through social media.
There's an opportunity for you to set an intention for what it is that you want to get out of that interaction on that platform.
White space before picking up your phone and re-actively checking. Intentionally choosing what is it that you want to receive or what is it that you want to give to your time on social media.
This practice has really changed my life.
I hope it does yours too.
Small steps to Radical Change and Transformation.
Please comment below and let me know how you go with this practice.
HOW TO LIVE A LIFE YOU LOVE
(without feeling Stressed-Out, Guilty, or having Decision-Fatigue in the process)
My Proven 3-Step System For Understanding and Working WITH your Emotions, even if you're Stressed Out, Overwhelmed, and have Decision Fatigue