2 Keys To Boosting Your Inner Confidence


I've been mentoring and coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behaviour and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the YOU that you know deep down you are. It takes self-awareness and a sincere willingness to find those parts of you, and to bring them out and live them in the world.

In this article, I talk about two ways to start the process (and journey) to real inner confidence.

1. Know Your Values

Personal values are a big deal for me, and I often get carried away when I talk about them.

Understanding your values is crucial—they're deeply embedded within you, forming the bedrock of genuine inner confidence. Your values are at your core, defining what matters most to you—beliefs, principles, and standards of behavior that shape your identity. When people or situations make you feel angry, frustrated, or deflated, it's usually because they're denying or suppressing one or more of your core values. This denial feels negative because it conflicts with a fundamental part of who you are.

Conversely, moments of feeling alive and energetic occur when your values are honoured. Living in alignment with your values enhances your capacity to feel vibrant and alive. Your values belong uniquely to you; they cannot be taken away. Embracing them with confidence allows you to make choices that resonate deeply, enabling your authentic self to flourish in the world.

2. Exercise the Muscle

Confidence is like a muscle—you must exercise it to prevent it from weakening. Unlike biceps or glutes that remain more static, confidence requires deliberate effort to develop. Just as you build your physical muscles through targeted exercises, you can strengthen your confidence over time with consistent practice.

For instance, if you're someone who tends to avoid risks and stays within your comfort zone, you may talk yourself out of opportunities that seem daunting or tell yourself "I'm not capable," "It's not for me," or "I don't desire it anyway."

That kind of person lives within what they know, and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.

To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in unfamiliar ways. To try something new or try something different.

Open yourself to the myriad possibilities around you and encourage personal growth to deepen your self-awareness.

The more you embrace risk, opportunity, and possibility, the more confidence you will build.

That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"

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