EP 38 - The AND principle when it comes to YOU

According to neuroscience, events that happened to our ancestors generations ago can continue to shape our experience in the present.

Generational trauma, also called intergenerational trauma and transgenerational trauma, is passed down through generations in families through genetic changes to a person's DNA after they experience trauma.

I didn’t mean to get so heavy within the first few lines of this page, but it’s a reality that is often overlooked when going down a path of self-discovery. It’s never really just about you.

If you want to create a life of peace, tranquility and harmony, then there are a few things you’re going to work through on your way there.

If You Want to Live in a Field of Transformational Grace, primed for Growth, You’re not only going to Have to Let go of negative thought patterns, self-sabotaging beliefs and unhealthy habits, you’re also going to have to reconcile where you’ve come from, not because you’re trying to live in the past, but more as an opportunity to understand the reasons you do the things you do.

It’s within these reasons, even if we don’t fully understand them, that we often compartmentalize ourselves in a way that has us often disassociated, and living split lives.

For example: you’re a certain way at work, then you come home and you change your default behavior, and then you spend time with a group of your yoga friends, and you’re a certain way with them, only to go out with your social friends on the weekend, to show up a completely different version of yourself.

These fragmented parts of you often work in opposition because you have to consciously decide who you’re going to be, and psyche yourself up to show up as the version who that particular group knows you as.

I’m not talking about harnessing certain traits to ‘get the job done’. No, this is more of a deeper unconscious state-change.

Once you learn how to defragment (which is to say that you bring all parts of your to the center of your experience, then the playing field gets evened out and you start to level the YOU who then exists in all parts of your life.

This is when you start to feel the effects of true POWER.

All parts of you are unified to work in unison, ticking along, and passing the baton on to one another for various parts of your life.

So it changes the narrative from different YOU showing up to create a persona, to you showing up in different parts of your life to work towards a common goal or objective.

Let’s put this into perspective. You say that you want a life that’s peaceful and drama-less, one that’s structured and well-rounded, doing what you live, earning good money for it, and then spending time with the family etc. But your subconscious mind is programmed to push, and hustle and keep going because you’re a product of an immigrant family through the Great Depression who always had to work very hard to make ends meet, always fearing that the money was going to run out, and that you needed to be ready for when the next catastrophe hit.

Your NOW self wants to be rested, and calm and enjoy the fruits of the life you’ve created / are creating; and yet there are fibers on your being that are constantly fitting off warning signals that it’s not safe to rest.

Can you see the conflict therein?

Another example: Your deepest desire is to move to the country, grow a veggie patch, build a thriving coaching business, all whilst lounging on the sunny back porch of your beautiful and spacious new home.

Your DNA has been programmed to chase SUCCESS in a Patriarchal way that has you thinking of success equal to your title (or money) in the bank.

Whilst you’re aiming to create a financially successful business, your desire to fit the mood of the patriarchy has you sitting at a desk b between 9 and 5, dressed in a suit, and taking meetings and clients after hours. After all - nothing comes to those who rest right?

The fact that you’re able to create a life you want on your terms hasn’t even crossed your mind, because you’ve been told time and time again that the ONLY way to build a business, is to grind and hustle until you make it.

One part o your desiring to rest and create in a way that feels fulfilling and trusting of the fact that your business will be success if you work within the rhythms and cycles of your body and your energy, the other parts of you beating to the drum of something that you were told and instructed, not only within your youth, bit that was drummed into your folks and their folks for the last 100 years.

Scared to rest. Pushing for those numbers so that you can retire early.

Now these examples are only mere scratches on the surface of what I’m trying to paint a picture of here, and whilst most spiritual new age folks will tell you to meditate and journal, and all will come right, I’m here to say - yes that, AND a whole bunch of nervous system regulation, somatic movement therapy and neuro-change to go with. It takes more than only a meditation practice to create a life of ease, plenty and purpose.

It takes YOU, all four parts of YOU - ticking along smoothly.

And the four parts I’m referring to are the emotional. Physical. Mental and spiritual.

In this episode we explore many of the the ways in which we can create lasting change in the mind, body, heart and spirit.

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A question to be with:

What would I be doing that would leave my life even better, feel energising, rich, leave me feeling inspired, and that I would pay for and do for free, even if nobody showed up?

What we talk about:

Generational trauma and inter-generational trauma
What your lineage has to do with your spiritual development and why it’s never really just about you
Understanding your default patterns and behaviours
Examples of where you de-fragment in your everyday life, and what that actually means
The power of unifying all parts of yourself across your life
How your subconscious mind can be in competition or conflict with your conscious desires
Why you need more than just meditation and journalling for real change
Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) - what it is, and how to use it for powerful change
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and how it’s different to other modalities like NLP
The value of energy practices like Reiki, holistic and complementary therapies, alternative therapies, as well as physical practices like breath work, yoga, and nutrition
Why it’s vital to do what works for YOU, and not what someone told you worked for them
Why your emotional health is dependent on how you feel physically
What I do to start the process of figuring out what really is the best practice for me in the moment, including questions to sit with