What is NeuroLinguistic Programming?
Are you new to the Personal Development (PD) and or Coaching Industry?
If so, then you may have heard about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and desperately wanted to ask friends and colleagues what they were talking about, but couldn’t bring yourself to raise your hand.
I get it. Sometimes the acronyms and jargon we use as a part of the industry can be confusing.
Today, you’re in luck because I’m going to tell you everything you need to know about NLP, including how to differentiate it from its cousins: Hypnotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Stress reduction, Positive Psychology, and straight up Life-Coaching.
What is Neuro Linguistic Programming (nlp)?
In simple terms, NLP means using your mind and language to change how you think and act, so you can achieve your goals and feel better. As a part of this modality, we use a set of techniques and strategies that help you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are connected.
By using specific language patterns and mental exercises, NLP helps you change negative patterns and habits into positive ones. It's like having a "user manual" for your mind, allowing you to reprogram your thinking to achieve your desired outcomes. NLP aims to help you achieve several goals, including:
1. Improving Communication: connect more effectively with others and build better relationships.
2. Personal Development: provides tools and techniques for personal growth, helping you overcome limiting beliefs and behaviours to reach your full potential.
3. Goal Achievement: can assist you in setting and achieving goals by changing your mindset and behaviours to align with your desired outcomes.
It also offers the benefit of being adaptable to various situations and contexts, allowing you to apply its principles in different areas of your life for maximum effectiveness.
Want to know how to use NLP to your best advantage?
I’m going to teach you exactly HOW, over 30-days.
Click the picture below (or this link here) and fill in your details, and I’ll send a short educational piece to you daily for 30-days.
You can take the theory and apply it to your life to experience NLP first hand.
Why is NLP Important?
You may come across people in the world who believe that NLP is a form of mind control or manipulation. This misconception likely stems from the fact that NLP techniques can be used to influence others' thoughts and behaviours, but the intention behind NLP is typically to improve communication and achieve personal growth, not to manipulate or control others. When used ethically, NLP can be a powerful tool for self-improvement and enhancing relationships.
For example, a study published in the International Journal of Neuroscience found that NLP techniques can be effective in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression (and i’ve experienced this first hand with my clients too), another study published in the Journal of Counselling Psychology showed that NLP interventions can lead to positive changes in behavior and thinking patterns.
Additionally, the global personal development industry, which includes NLP as a key component, has been experiencing steady growth. According to a report by Market Research Future, the global personal development market is expected to grow at a CAGR of 5.6% from 2019 to 2024. This indicates a growing acceptance and adoption of personal development practices, including NLP, among individuals and organizations worldwide.
Overall, while there may be misconceptions about NLP, the evidence suggests that it can be a beneficial tool for personal growth and development when used ethically and responsibly.
This means that the acceptance and adoption of NLP techniques are not going anywhere; they are only getting stronger.
When you use NLP techniques, you'll be able to reduce the amount of time you spend on unproductive or inefficient tasks.
The method can help you identify and overcome limiting beliefs that may be holding you back, allowing you to focus more effectively on your goals. It can improve your time management skills, helping you prioritise tasks and make better use of your time and overall, can help you avoid wasting time on activities that don't align with your goals, leading to greater efficiency and productivity.
It can help you to overcome fears, like that of public speaking
On top of that, another "hidden" benefit of NLP is that it can improve your ability to understand and anticipate the needs of others, including your customers and clients.
By becoming more attuned to subtle cues in communication, you'll be better positioned to know your customer's needs before they've even asked for something. This can lead to more effective sales and customer service interactions, ultimately benefiting your business or personal relationships.
For example, and these come from my clients who have coached with me:
Let's take the example of a marketing professional who we’ll call Sam. Every week, Sam uses NLP techniques to better her communication skills and improve her ability to influence others. One example she told me about was how she practiced "mirroring" and "matching" during client meetings or presentations.
Mirroring involves subtly imitating the body language, speech patterns, and expressions of the other person to create rapport.
Matching involves adapting your communication style to match that of the other person, which can help establish a connection and build trust.
She used these techniques to build rapport and establish a genuine connection with her clients or prospects because by subtly mirroring their body language, speech patterns, and expressions, she created a sense of familiarity and trust, making it easier to communicate effectively and influence their decisions in a way that would help them reap the rewards of her services.
This created a significant effect on her overall business because her clients felt more comfortable and at ease with her which resulted in increased trust, improved relationships, and ultimately, more successful business outcomes for them both.
A photographer client of mine, let’s call her Stevie, used NLP techniques on a daily basis to improve her creativity and focus. For example, she used visualisation techniques before a photoshoot to imagine the perfect shot and create a mental image of the desired outcome. She also used anchoring techniques to create the vibe she wanted to exude, which only boosted her confidence before approaching a new project or client.
And what about my student / client who is a reiki healer, let’s call her Jasmine.
Jasmine sets aside every month to expand her healing abilities and connect more deeply with her clients. One of the ways we practiced this was to attune to her own sensory acuity and become more aware of subtle changes in her client's energy field and adjust her healing techniques accordingly.
She also uses language patterns to guide her clients into a more relaxed and receptive state during a reiki session.
In each of these examples, you can see how NLP is a valuable tool for improving performance, enhancing communication, and building better relationships with clients and colleagues.
Background of NLP.
One of the best ways to understand a new concept is to travel back in time and understand where it came from and the processes that led to its inception.
The development of psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud in the late 19th century allowed for a deeper understanding of the human mind and behaviour, which in turn paved the way for the emergence of NLP in the 1970s.
While psychoanalysis and NLP are distinct approaches, they both seek to understand and improve human behavior. The insights gained from psychoanalysis, such as the importance of the unconscious mind and the role of childhood experiences in shaping behaviour, influenced the development of NLP techniques and principles. This historical connection highlights the evolution of psychological thought and the interdisciplinary nature of fields like NLP.
The method was first developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They studied successful therapists, including Fritz Perls (Gestalt therapy), Virginia Satir (family therapy), and Milton H. Erickson (hypnotherapy), to model their behaviours and communication patterns. This led to the creation of NLP techniques and principles, which have since been applied in various fields, including therapy, coaching, education, and business.
Here are further excellent resources on various topics related to this field of study:
- Carl Jung has an extensive body of work on analytical psychology and the collective unconscious.
- Viktor Frankl's writings on existential psychology and logotherapy offer profound insights into finding meaning in life. Read his book called MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING
- B.F. Skinner's work in behaviorism has influenced fields such as education, therapy, and organizational behavior.
- Albert Bandura's research on social learning theory has had a significant impact on psychology and education.
- Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory has been influential in understanding human motivation and personal development.
How NLP Works
So far, we've stayed pretty theoretical in our exploration of NLP, and if you're still intrigued on how this can be applied to your own life, then this next part is for you.
When I first started learning about NLP, I felt like I knew nothing about anything. The irony of feeling this way is actually explained in concepts taught as a part of NLP.
In NLP, there is a concept called "unconscious incompetence," which refers to the state of not knowing that you don't know something. This is the first stage of learning a new skill or behaviour. By acknowledging that you don't know something, you open yourself up to learning and growth.
Additionally, NLP emphasises the importance of flexibility and openness to new ideas and perspectives. When you approach NLP with the mindset of "knowing that you know nothing," you are more likely to be open-minded and receptive to new techniques and ways of thinking. This can enhance your ability to learn and apply NLP principles effectively in your life.
Overall, the idea of "knowing that you know nothing" in NLP aligns with the principle of humility and the recognition that there is always more to learn and discover, both about yourself and the world around you.
Luckily, the learning curve for NLP can be quite manageable, especially with the help of someone who can support you in practicing NLP techniques in real-life situations to help reinforce learning and make the concepts more tangible. With dedication and practice, anyone can navigate the learning curve of NLP practices and reap its benefits in personal and professional life.
I've put together a few examples of how you can apply NLP to your life to help you better understand and see it applied in different use cases.
My client David has applied NLP techniques to overcome his fear of flying. He says, "Using NLP has helped me reframe my thoughts about flying. Instead of focusing on the fear, I now feel calm and confident during flights."
My client Jessica has applied NLP techniques to become unstuck in her personal and professional life. She says, "Using NLP has helped me identify and overcome limiting beliefs that were holding me back. I now feel more confident and empowered to take action towards my goals."
The best ways to implement NLP in your own life are:
Step 1: Identify Your Goals and Challenges
- Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in your personal or professional life.
- Identify any challenges or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back.
Step 2: Learn NLP Techniques
- Educate yourself about NLP and the various techniques it offers.
- Choose a few techniques that resonate with you and that you feel will help you address your goals and challenges.
Step 3: Practice Regularly
- Set aside time each day or week to practice NLP techniques.
- Consistency is key, so make practicing NLP a regular part of your routine.
Step 4: Monitor Your Progress
- Keep track of how implementing NLP techniques is affecting your life.
- Notice any positive changes in your mindset, behaviour, or results, and adjust your approach as needed.
Step 5: Seek Support and Feedback
- Consider working with a coach or therapist who specialises in NLP to get personalised guidance and support.
- Share your progress with friends or colleagues who can provide feedback and encouragement.
By following these steps, you can begin to implement NLP in your own life and experience its benefits firsthand.
I once worked with a client who was struggling to find motivation in her career. She felt stuck in a job that no longer fulfilled her and was unsure of how to make a change. We used NLP techniques to help her identify her core values, clarify her goals, and overcome limiting beliefs that were holding her back.
Through our work together, she gained a deeper understanding of herself and what she truly wanted in her career. She was able to confidently pursue a new career path that aligned with her passions and values. Today, she is thriving in a new role that brings her fulfilment and joy, and she credits NLP for helping her make the change.
I myself have applied NLP techniques to overcome my fear of public speaking. I used visualisation techniques to imagine myself speaking confidently in front of an audience and used anchoring techniques to create a sense of calm and focus before each speaking engagement. Over time, I was able to overcome my fear and now feel comfortable speaking in front of large groups.
A friend of mine used NLP to improve her communication skills in her business. She practiced mirroring and matching techniques (similar to the ones I taught Sam in the example above) to build rapport with clients and colleagues, which helped her establish stronger relationships and ultimately grow her business. She also used reframing techniques to change her perspective on challenging situations, allowing her to approach them with a more positive and proactive mindset.
Another client of mine used NLP to break free from procrastination and improve his productivity. He identified the underlying reasons for his procrastination using NLP techniques and then used visualisation and goal-setting techniques to create a clear plan of action. With consistent practice, he was able to overcome his procrastination habits and achieve his goals more effectively.
Still not sure you get Neuro Linguistic Programming well enough to see the value of working with a coach to help you learn / unlearn unhelpful habits and behaviours? We all learn in different ways.
Check out this video to see if it helps you out:
I especially like how it speaks to the dark side of NLP too.
I hope NeuroLinguistic Programming is crystal clear to you now.
I launched Soul School because I want to support you to create the life you truly want, and are here to live. We use Human Design and NLP to help steer you in the direction of your soul’s intention for being on this planet, and help you, with NLP techniques and tools, to decondition from unhelpful habits and create effective strategies for making your dreams come true.
Do you still have questions? No shame in that! You can contact me here or find me on social media (Insta) where I'm always happy to answer any questions.
One thing you can do to get started with NLP is join me on an 8 week 1:1 coaching container called Soul School
with so much love,
xo Arianna